Funny things kids say…32

After the baptism of his baby brother in church, Alex sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, ‘That preacher said he wanted us to be brought up in a Christian home, but I want to stay home with you guys.’

What would you do on a first date that was turning sour? I’d run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
David, age 9

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with five year old. After explaining the commandment to ‘honor thy father and thy mother,’ she asked, ‘Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?’ without missing a beat, one little boy answered,’ Thou shall not kill.’

A child came back from Sunday school, and told his mother that he had learned a new song about a cross-eyed bear named Gladly. It took his mother a while before she realized that the hymn was really “Gladly the Cross I’d Bear”.

Funny things parents say…
A man speaks frantically into the phone, ‘My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!’ ‘Is this her first child?’ the doctor queries. ‘No!’ the man shouts. ‘This is her husband!’

‘Can I go outside and watch the solar eclipse?’ Asked Robert. ‘Okay,’ replied his father, ‘just don’t stand too close.’

Young Bobby was being fitted for glasses, and his father said, ‘Now, remember, son. Don’t wear them when you’re not looking at anything.’

A lady returned home from a business trip and asked her husband, ‘How did Greg do on his history exam?’ ‘Oh, not so good.’ he replied. But it wasn’t his fault. They asked him about things that happened before he was born!’

END:BL32/08