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As you move through life from infancy to adulthood, it may seem like you have greater control over your destiny as you develop in maturity. Infants depend on their parents for everything. Adults can cut those ties and be on their own, making their own decisions. But are you really on your own, making decisions freely?

Reality check please! I want to suggest that all decisions I make today have a genesis somewhere in my past. I decide today to eat chicken and chips rather than ugali and sukuma wiki because that’s what I want to eat, and I have the money in my pocket to do so. Sounds like a freely made decision to me!

Really?! How about all those times mom and dad said no – chicken and chips are bad for you, too much fat and you really need mboga for a healthy body. Rebellion sets in – mom and dad, I’m going to eat what I WANT TO EAT! This is not a free choice. My decision is fuelled by a sense of injustice, historical financial lack, and/or rebellion, all rolled up in one.
We can call this learning process “socialization”. We learn many things as we grow up in a family setting. We learn what is considered proper behaviour and what is not. We learn there are negative consequences for behaviour that is deemed inappropriate and socially unacceptable. If we grew up in a perfect family that lived in a perfect setting of perfect justice, we learned right-from-wrong lessons with no emotional damage. Does that describe your family?! Probably not!!

So back to my original question: Who is really in control of my life? It appears I am NOT. My background including family, school experiences and Sunday school classes all shape who I am today and how I make decisions. I can’t make a valid decision left to my own devices because that decision will be affected by all the negative messages I ever received growing up. So what could one do when faced with a life-changing crisis, such as an unplanned pregnancy, and have to make a decision?

This is the moment when you can humbly say, “Lord, I am not in control, You are. This circumstance I find myself in is difficult and painful, and I don’t really know what is best for me. Too many voices are screaming at me – turn this way, go that way. I don’t have all the facts, nor do I know the future. Any decision I am going to make is potentially faulty because I am not all-knowing. I need help!”

Is that your prayer today? Are you feeling out of control and nowhere to turn? Are you faced with a situation you really don’t know what is best, but a decision has to be made? Turn to the One Who has all the answers, all the facts, and all the future in His hands. Jesus moulded you in your mother’s womb. He knows what is best for you and He will guide you through this tough moment in your life.

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