Unplanned Pregnancy? It can happen to anyone!

What goes through someone’s mind when they realize they have broken a promise they intended to keep? Something they warn and counsel others against breaking?
As narrated to Roseline Atieno

‘I became a born-again Christian during my teenage years and people always considered me a good girl. When I was in Form Three, I met a young man whom I started dating, although I knew this was totally against my Christian principles. I continued seeing him even after I completed secondary school.

Soon after, my parents came to learn about our relationship and reprimanded me for it—primarily because he was not from my tribe. We agreed to break up because of our parents’ expressions of discontent.

However, fate was to make us meet again a few years later, when we got to talk and share our lives’ experiences when we were apart. One thing led to another and we ended up engaging in premarital sex on that same day.

After engaging in this embarrassing incident, guilt engulfed my entire being. I knew that as a Christian, I was supposed to be a role model and advocate for abstinence until marriage to my peers—furthermore, I worked for a youth counselling organisation where I am still working at the moment.

During that month, I missed my monthly periods and suspected the worst—that I was pregnant. I decided to do a self pregnancy test one evening while I was alone in the office. The results were positive—I immediately collapsed in utter shock and disbelief! I woke up later to find myself lying down on the cold, hard floor. I looked at the results again and at that moment wished that the floor would swallow me alive. How could it be that I, of all the girls, could be pregnant?

My mind was in turmoil. I did not know how I was going to face my friends, my church members—being their worship leader—and worst of all my colleagues. I wondered what would happen to my job because the organisation’s ethical policy was totally against sexual irresponsibility—I had jeopardised my job.

It was while I was still lying on the floor, with a myriad of images flashing through my mind, that I reached out for my phone and sent a text message to one of my colleagues, informing her of my predicament.

She called back immediately and all she said was: ’Don’t worry, I am on my way and I love you’. That gave me the strength to get up from the floor.

She arrived a while later, upon which I poured my heart out to her. Since she is also a counsellor, she advised and encouraged me to move on. telling me that pregnancy should not signal the end of my life. She further advised me to inform our director about my situation.

I gathered up courage a few days later and went to tell the director about it. I tried to hold back my tears in vain as I talked to her. All she told me after some minutes of silence—which seemed like an eternity—was that she was disappointed. At that time, she was not talking as a counsellor but as my boss. I felt as though my entire world had crumbled down on me!

She later embraced me comfortingly, but told me that I had to face the organisation’s board members since the penalty for such irresponsibility is a year of suspension.

I knew that facing the board was going to be a difficult undertaking but I was determined to do it. I also felt obliged to inform my fellow Christians because I had greatly betrayed them.

It is then, that I decided to go to the hospital for a confirmation of my pregnancy. The nurse who brought me the results was enthusiastic, thinking that at my advanced age I would be the happiest woman to have conceived. This only served to make my heart sink lower as the bitter truth hit home again.

A week later, I made an appointment with our pastor and his wife. We met at a restaurant in town where I told them what had transpired. His wife was shocked and speechless—she started crying as I was narrating my predicament to them. I think this was occasioned by the fact that they are our family friends and she, like my boss, was also disappointed in me. I was also crying during this entire period.

The pastor advised me that the best way to seek for forgiveness was to confess my sin before our church’s congregation. I could not believe what he was saying. How was I going to do it? This is when I felt as if he was being too harsh on me.

After the meeting, I walked around like a zombie not knowing what to do. At some point, I even thought of asking a friend to go and do the confession on my behalf.

The day I was to confess to the congregation eventually came. I arrived late for the service and found the pastor waiting for me at the church’s entrance—he was worried because he thought I had decided not to confess. We walked into the church together and I bravely stood in front of the congregation and poured out to them the whole story.

I told them that I knew I had sinned and sought their forgiveness. As I was confessing, I heard some of them sniffing, while others wiped tears away from their eyes using handkerchiefs. When I was through, they congratulated me and hugged me for my boldness. I think I got the confidence to confess after I privately confessed to Cod before I stood in front of them. I felt no condemnation because I knew I had been forgiven of my sins!

My family members were also understanding when they learnt that I was expectant.

My boss had earlier warned me that the real social pressure would start when my tummy started showing—this is when people would start asking about my marital status.

Fortunately, many people seemed to accept me as I was. However, rumours reached me that some people were saying that I had planned to get pregnant intentionally because I was fond of kids and my age was quickly advancing.

When I eventually faced the board of directors at the office, I was glad to learn that I would not be fired. I was, however, to face disciplinary punishment for a year. I was also required to continue seeing the church and organisation’s counsellor who would later submit a progress report to the board.

My baby is now almost one-and-a-half-years old and he is such a blessing to me. Looking back, I thank God for the fact that neither abortion nor adoption of the baby ever crossed my mind.

I also thank God for our youth counselling organisation because I have managed to pull through this challenge as a result of their support.

The narrator requested anonymity.

END:PG14/62-63