Safe sex during pregnancy — Know when to stop!
Safe sex during pregnancy is generally recommended, but you should know when to stop!
Contrary to common belief, you can have safe sex during pregnancy whenever you choose to. Yes, throughout pregnancy. Safe sex during pregnancy cannot harm you or your baby unless there are other factors involved. There are three useful tips on this matter:
- Listen to your mind, body and soul. In most cases your gut-feeling will be right.
- Be frank – dead frank with your partner. Be fair to one another.
- Enjoy yourself. Pregnancy does not mean you are less sensual.
There are also two conditions:
- Your pregnancy should be uncomplicated. If yours has current complications – e.g. threatened abortion, bleeding, etc., or your past pregnancies were complicated, e.g. you had a miscarriage, you need to first talk to your caregiver.
- You must be carrying a low-risk pregnancy. If for example you are carrying twins, or you are of advanced age, or have medical conditions that put you at risk or potential for complications, consult your caregiver before attempting sex during pregnancy.
Find the best positions for sex during pregnancy
You and your partner can explore and find out positions that are suitable and comfortable for you especially in the last few months of the pregnancy when your bump is too big to allow thought-free lovemaking.
No, sperm can not reach your baby
The myth that sperm will deface the baby or kill the fetus, when having sex, is just a myth! The notion that sex during pregnancy will affect your baby’s skin, head or hair, is false. Your baby is protected by membranes in the uterus and will face no risk. Remember that the foetus grows inside the amniotic sac, which is completely sealed. Also, the strong muscles of the uterus keep baby from any harm. Remember that the rule during pregnancy should simply be “Keep your husband close and your husband closer!” That simply means, practise safe sex during pregnancy — as much as you want to!
Lack of Sexual contact can lead your man to infidelity
Imagine if your husband came home one day and announced: ‘Honey, I have decided not to have sex for the next nine months’. Irrespective of the reasons, this would raise concern to any woman! Yet that is exactly what happens to some men whose wives feel it is a taboo to make love during pregnancy. The man faces a total ban on intimacy for almost a year! Now, that’s a long time, by any standards, whether you are a man or woman, right?
Forced abstinence in marriage – even when a pregnancy is not in the works — can be the right environment for “mpango wa kando” (infidelity). Such abstinence may cause some men to be vulnerable and eventually unfaithful. The rule during pregnancy should simply be ‘Keep your husband close and his manhood even closer!’
Lack of libido needs addressing
Different women have different perceptions of sex during pregnancy. Some say they enjoy sex all the more, others see no difference, and yet others do not desire sex at all, or have significantly reduced sexual appetite. All these different feelings are normal.
If you lack libido (sexual urge) while pregnant, it is possible to work on it. You can increase libido by engaging in activities that will help you and your partner remain close during this period. The key issue is that your partner must not feel neglected because you are “far” from him and are practicing unilateral abstinence.
Can I have “too much” sex during pregnancy?
There is nothing like “too much” sex. If you are feeling hot and steamy, go on, get it! Sexual encounter should be treated as bonding sessions, though, rather than momental surges. The emotional and physical support helps a pregnant woman’s phyche, acceptance of baby and general relaxation. On the other hand, it helps reassure the husband that his wife is still the same woman he has always loved and that the family way will not come between them.
On the other hand, you must know when to stop having sex during pregnancy.
Past miscarriages
If you have a history of repeated miscarriages and are pregnant, it is advisable for you to avoid sex for a while. This is because in certain but uncommon circumstances, sex can lead to a miscarriage. The hormone released during orgasm is the same hormone that causes the uterus to contract and there is the risk of the uterus contracting and expelling the baby. You can come to the right decision with the help of your gynaecologist, based on your historical pregnancies.
Though a rare occurrence, nothing should be left to chance. If you have no history of miscarriages, you can continue enjoying sex without a worry, unless you have or suspect other complications.
When your water breaks
Do not have sex once your water break. Breaking of water precipitates labour and should this happen the best thing for you to do is to rush to hospital and get immediate attention. Having sex after the waters break the risk of transmitting infections to the uterus through the broken membranes and may harm your baby.
Physical discomfort and choice of sexual positions
If certain sexual positions feel uncomfortable for you, tell your partner right away. Sexual activity in the third trimester and close to the due date may be more challenging than usual, due to your bulging belly. The missionary style with the man on top will eventually become unsuitable. Your partner needs to cooperate and to follow your cue to determine what works best. If he is non-cooperative, discuss temporary absention until you can agree on a solution.
It is necessary and practical for you both to recognise that you will need to experiment several positions before you can settle on what’s mutually enjoyable. Also that as the months progress, what worked previously may need to change.
In general, sex during pregnancy demands that the man avoids exerting his full weight on the woman’s belly, and that the woman uses an under pillow to stay tilted and not sleeping flat on her back.
Oral sex and other adventures during sexual intercourse
Sometimes out of preference or doctor’s instruction, you may want to avoid penetration or orgasm or both. Oral sex is a good alternative in such cases. While it is generally safe to practise oral sex during pregnancy, however, there are important DON’Ts.
No blowing of air please!
That is, no blowing into your vagina. When air is blow into the vagina, it can cause what is known as air embolism, where a bubble of air enters into your blood system. This incident can be fatal for your baby.
Risk posed by mouth infections
If your partner has any form of mouth infection — especially oral herpes, oral sex becomes unsafe and should be stopped . A history of oral herpes is a danger sign in the final trimester, whether or not your partner is currently showing symptoms.
HIV transmission possible with mouth lesions
Oral sex by a HIV positive person may also pose a risk if the person has mouth tissue that has suffered damage through injury or disease. Lesions such as an ulcer or cut in the mouth that lets out blood into the saliva, may lead to transmission of the virus. Any type of opening in the mucous membrane of the mouth increases the viability of HIV transmission HIV. It is up to you to assess the level of risk you want to take, but it is better to act safe.
In case of sexually transmitted diseases
If you know or suspect that your partner is carrying a sexually transmitted disease (STD) during your pregnancy, you must abstain from sex right away! Even though the thick mucus plug seals the cervix and keeps infections away from baby, some STDs get into the blood stream and will reach the baby. Others will infect the baby once your water breaks and the baby enters the birth canal, unprotected.
STDs such as gonorrhea, syphilis, HPV, herpes and HPV can be transmitted to the developing baby, leading to harm and sometimes fatal consequences. For example if you catch gonorrhea and it goes untreated in pregnancy, you may end up with a miscarriage or preterm birth.
Furthermore, your baby may develop life threatening blood infections, blindness or even joint infection. If after sex you suspect you have been infected with any STD, ensure to get screened upon attending the next antenatal clinic or even earlier if possible. Early treatment can save you and your baby’s future and life.
If you are found to have been infected, note the possible solutions:
• Chlamydia
It can lead to miscarriage or premature birth, as well as cause newborn eye infections. In some cases it can lead to pneumonia of the infant.
• Genital Warts or HPV
The growth of these clusters may be precipitated by hormones from pregnancy, leading to blockage of the birth canal. A C-Section is in such event recommended.
• Gonorrhea
Like Chlamydia, it should be treated as soon as possible since it can harm the baby by causing joint infection or blindness. It can also cause fatal blood infection.
• Hepatitis B
This virus has a 40 percent probability of transmission to the baby via the placenta, leading to lifelong Hepatitis B infection of the baby. Liver disease follows, with fatal consequences. Early detection of Hepatitis B in the mother will help prevent infection of the baby through Hepatitis B vaccination.
• Herpes
The risk of baby infection is during birth, since the baby will come into contact with active herpes lesions on the way out. Usually a C-Section is recommended to deliver the baby.
• HIV/AIDS
The risk of transmission of HIV virus to your baby can be reduced, even stopped.
• Syphilis
It can be transmitted to your child through the blood stream, which may be fatal. A foetus infected with Syphilis is likely be born preterm and if not effectively treated can develop multiple organ complications, with the most common being bone, brain, heart, eye, ear, teeth and skin damage.
• Trichomoniasis
It heightens possibility of premature birth, and sometimes, though rarely, may lead to infection of the newborn. Treatment is recommended and early detection encouraged.
Signs of danger after sexual activity
There are symptoms which, if they appear after sex, demand you immediately consult your caregiver.
Bleeding after sex
One is bleeding. Avoid sex if you are bleeding from the birth canal. If you notice blood flow after intercourse, call or visit your caregiver right away. This is often a serious condition that requires evaluation by your doctor even if only little blood is seen. More sex can worsen the bleeding.
Persistent cramping
Another danger symptom is sustained cramping. If after sex or having an orgasm you feel cramps that fail to ease after a while, you need medical attention.
Stubborn pain after sex
A third caution is pain that does not go away after sexual intercourse.
All these incidents demand that you immediately stop sex during pregnancy and first check with your caregiver to reconfirm that all is fine with your pregnancy.
Finally, if you are unsure about having sex at any time, follow your hunch and consult your caregiver first. Your life and well being and that of your baby are more important than any pleasure or comfort that intimacy can bring to you or your partner.
END: PG 1/10