Pregnant without a clue!

One woman’s true episode

‘Who is the father of the baby?’ my grandmother asked me one evening out of the blue. I had no idea what she was talking about. She claimed I was pregnant; of course I denied it flatly. Why on earth would she think I was pregnant? Since I was getting my monthly period I was sure that age was catching up with her.

Frankly however, she got me thinking deeply about things I had noticed but not given much thought to, for instance an unusual craving for fast foods. I went into denial mode and would not allow myself to think it could be true. The last time I had been with my boyfriend was three months earlier, so what was she talking about? As far as I could remember, there was only one miracle pregnancy and it was that of Baby Jesus.

I could not bear further torment and decided to take a pregnancy test

Over the next several weeks I was sure something was wrong. I started feeling unusual and a fear gripped me that I might have some growth in my tummy or some other serious ailment since I could feel ’things’ in there. I was terrified I might be nursing a cyst or tumor. Or actually pregnant…! My moods were getting unpredictable, I gained weight but I was still in denial. When my next period did not appear I could not bear further torment and decided to take a pregnancy test. I visited my gynecologist and I can tell you he did not mince any words. He loudly confirmed that I was pregnant and “Yes; it’s a very health baby!’ I told him about my regular period and he did not look surprised. He said it was possible to bleed without having menstruation. He gave me a copy of the test results; written with a blue pen in large letters was the word ’Positive.’ Can anything be more official?

I did an ultrasound scan to find out the age of my pregnancy. In the process, I found out that I was expecting a baby girl. ’Six months and one week’, stated the doctor. Ok, so my grandmother was right. When she confronted me I was in my fourth month. I felt quite foolish.

I was confused. I went through many emotions especially after the doctor’s confirmation. Six months and one week! Oh, my God!

Moreover I did not expect that I was pregnant because I had not had sex

You must be amused at how naive I was not to know that I was four months pregnant. I guess the bleeding which I mistook for menstruation, coupled with lack of morning sickness or other strong symptoms had misled me. Moreover I did not expect to get pregnant because I had not had sex for quite a while, and the last time I did we had used a condom and I believe I was on my safe days. In hindsight, there were signs which should have had me thinking but I had busied myself with college and lots of partying.

I did not know what to do or what to think and while still in confusion the baby kicked! All my doubts were shattered. Here I was at twenty, with a baby in my tummy! Funny enough I never thought of having an abortion; instead I got terrified by the thought of the weight I was going to gain. I was also afraid of the prospect of going shopping for the baby. Imagine all those eyes and nods as I entered in and out of baby shops. I was also scared of what my friends would think about me.

The best solution would be a quick-fix abortion

The number of times my girlfriends and I talked about pregnancy, we would say how stupid it would be to let such a thing happen to any of us because we were still very ‘young’. And if it did happen the best solution would be a quick-fix abortion. So when my grandmother suggested I could be pregnant I did not dare tell a single soul. I kept the question to myself and hoped such talk would fade away. Now I had to tell all my close friends. It was therefore a pleasant surprise when my friends reacted mildly and encouraged me. They were also happy with my decision not to have an abortion. That support has made me strong and lessened my embarrassment.

My parents were unhappy but have been very supportive

I am sure you are wondering where my parents fit in all this. Of course they were disappointed but have quickly come to my rescue and been very supportive. They did not take it lightly at all; I told my mum about it on telephone and she was concerned I might not finish my schooling, which I assured her I would. As for Dad, I wanted him to find out by himself because I simply did not have the guts to volunteer the news. There were days when I felt like eating fries and I would make him drive me to take-away cafes to buy them. He got quite annoyed when he later knew the source of my cravings.

My parents are kind of miffed at being grannies so soon, but I am really grateful for their love and support. My grandmother who lives with us has also been a jewel. She is a former midwife and that is why she had a hunch quite early in my pregnancy, and has been very educative.

The best and the worst…

Pregnancy has been phenomenal. I have gained the weight I was afraid of but I think I have coped well with changing my mindset. I still go to school everyday without fail and luckily do not get overly fatigued. My tummy looks like a small pot but I am proud of it and flaunt it. Because I am a size bigger my wardrobe has changed but I do not let that get to me. My friends have been my best supporters and we still party together, go shopping and watch movies. It is interesting that though they are happy for me sometimes I feel neglected because everyone’s attention is on the baby in my bump and not on me.

I do not let this pregnancy drag me and I am very open and frank about it. Many friends and relatives ‘ask’ and I excitedly speak to them about it because she is my baby and nothing can change that. I have not found a name for her yet but her nickname is ‘Lollipop’ because she is a sweet baby and I love her.

Lollipop and I are like a team since we now do everything together. We sleep, eat, walk, and shower together. When we go shopping we get a lot of free stuff and everyone is so kind to us. My due date is 2nd June  and I am therefore in my last month with my feet starting to swell, my back aching and Lollipop being extremely active. I also get heartburn and muscle pulls. My only hope is that I do not get those nasty stretch marks.

I do not like four of my friends who used to be close

Bending is difficult especially when I am oiling my feet; dressing also takes a lifetime. I also walk slowly and whenever I tell my friends that I will be in college in the next ten minutes, I end up getting there half an hour later and they are like, ‘we understand there are two of you.’

I have stopped craving for fast food and now do not desire any specific food. However, I have become a vegetarian and drink a lot of milk. I do not like four of my friends who used to be close and I suspect it has to do with pregnancy since they have not wronged me. Apart from my ex-boyfriend’s friends who I hear gossip a lot about me, I have no problem with other people.

I pray for a normal delivery and would like a friend whom I trust to be there when I’m giving birth. I want to take a video of the whole process so that one day I can show it to my daughter if she starts becoming stubborn.

To the girls

I sure have learnt some lessons that I would like to share with girls my age. With this experience, I want to reach out to all those girls who may be pregnant and are ashamed of their state. When I finally accepted that I was pregnant the person who really helped me cope was a friend of mine who is younger than me and has a baby boy. She said to me; ‘If I can do it so can you.’ That really touched me. I would also like to say it is not easy. Please stay away from sex before marriage. There is nothing like safe days or safe sex when you have no husband. Boyfriends are not husbands.

 

END: PG 2/4-7

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