My Reflections – As I Wait for D-Day

How come the last trimester of pregnancy takes forever? It does not help that the kilos add on so walking or even lifting yourself off from the bed or a chair becomes that much more difficult. I am grateful that the weather has not been so bad, the cool showers and breeze have been very welcome in my world.

Don’t get me wrong, I am still trying to enjoy the process and go with the flow. I still am amazed at God’s wonder until I get a kick in my groin area and cannot fight back! Jokes aside, from cells to a tiny human being who enjoys waking me up through the night with his constant moving – I feel awful that may be I am squashing his little body while I am deep in slumber.

The things that I will miss when I am no longer pregnant is being able to ask for a seat in a shop and having people drop everything to make sure that the pregnant woman gets what she wants. The kind hearted people who always let me jump the queue, be it at a supermarket or the bank. I will miss the ooohs and aahs as people tilt their head when they greet me and reach to feel the bump. There is something about being pregnant that makes society nicer. People smile at you, strangers compliment you, staff in a shop switch on the fan or AC at your request, ask for a glass of water and boom… wherever you are, you will have it in your hand.

I am going in for an elective C section. Ariyana was born by caesarian as I was 40 weeks, had a history of miscarriages and my uterus is retroverted. Sigh, I am complicated! Anyway, a retroverted uterus in pregnancy means that the uterus tends to tip backwards. My OBGYN had suggested he induce me in the hope that the uterus would flip but I told him, if it was going to end in a C, just do a C. So this time around we spoke about the possibility of me delivering naturally. He said sure, it is possible – but he would only let me labor for 4 hours – again, because of my history. At this point, am just tired. If you have been at this stage in pregnancy, you feel like – whatever is the quickest, even if I go into labor now, so be it!

But that is human nature, we are never happy with where we are.

About the C – am nervous. I had a spinal tap the last time. I am not sure if I want to do that again. Not because I had a bad experience, in fact it was nice to be able to hear my baby cry when she was born and see her immediately, just because I am scared. I am scared to go through it all again. Even becoming a mother again is daunting. I blame sleepless nights on discomfort and baby squeezing my bladder – but the truth is, my family is about to expand – and with that there will be changes. Can I handle it?

The things I am very grateful for during this pregnancy are the things I did do:

Maternity photoshoot thanks to Riz Mehar. I think these are becoming more creative. I loved doing it and having Ariyana there was even more special.
My babyshower – or more like a blessingsway. It was so extraordinary this time around. There were a few of my friends and my mother and mother-in-law. And truly it was all about being blessed. My sister from another mister planned it and it will always hold dear to me in regards to great and fond memories of this pregnancy
Talking to Ariyana about being pregnant. Even though she is only 4, she has been such a treat to have around. She is curious, she asks how the baby is eating and what he eats. She has watched the belly grow and also felt the hiccups and movements. She came with me for scans and told everyone she knows about what she saw. How amazing!
Wrote a journal to my baby and to Ariyana about the process, how I felt and what was going on at the time.
Things that I said I would do but did not do:

Exercise! I was just super tired. I tried to get my lazy ass up once in a while but this time I was just exhausted and sick always! I was not too hard on myself and luckily (thank you mum) have good genes.
Be very fashionable. This time around, and again I blame me being tired 100 per cent of the time, I was not into the fashion. I felt and looked a mess at most times. It took a lot of energy to get the face on and find clothes that match!
Eat well. Because I was sick at most times – eating was a huge issue. I did not crave much, but because I felt low on energy I wanted pick me up food that was wholesome and sugary drinks.
Will I do this again? Well, I have no idea. I am talking to my husband about getting my tubes tied. Knowing my luck I have had to really try to get pregnant and once I stop, I may just keep on getting pregnant! It is an on-going debate. I cannot answer this, I have no clue.

Thanks for reading the blogs and for keeping me company during my journey. I am definitely going to keep you posted about the other side. I hear boys pee upwards and more often than not it ends up on the mamas face or just done hair! I did some research and in some countries you can buy something that will prevent the pee from spraying all over the place it’s called a weeblock. Sometimes I love Google, sometimes I don’t – there is too much information and you can spend money on anything these days!

Wish me luck.. It is the festive season and with my big belly I look a lot like Santa Claus.. Happy Holidays!

Pinky