Rib Cracker 46

‘Before I got married, I had six theories abut bringing up children. Now, I have six children and no theories.’
-John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester

‘People who say they sleep like babies usually don’t have them!
– Leo J. Burke

If you are pregnant and jobless, it’s time you stopped making applications for a job – you’ve already got one coming! A baby brings along work enough for three adults working full time. ‘Nobody tells you how all-consuming it is to be a mother — how reading goes out the window, and thinking too.
– Erica Jong

‘Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last.’
– Charles Dickens.

‘Parenthood: The state of being better informed about the endless ways in which money can be spent.’
– Werehire

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.
– Franklin P. Jones

‘Raising kids is partly joy and partly a guerilla warfare.’
-Ed Asner

‘If your baby is ‘beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the time, you are the grandma,”
– Theresa Bloomingdale

‘Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home,’
-Bill Cosby

‘There are only two things a child will share willingly – communicable diseases and his mother’s age.’
– Dr. Benjamin Spock.

‘Times change once a baby is born, no need to be alarmed; it can happen even in the most organized of families. You lose your wits and the sense of budgeting becomes the budgeting of cents. The critical thing is that you keep your mind intact and borrow some money. And borrow more. Then blame it on the baby!’
– Werehire

‘The worst feature of a new baby is the mother’s singing.’
– Kin Hubbard

A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be.’
– Anon

‘The hardest job facing kids today is learning good manners without seeing any.’
– Fred Astaire

‘ Small children disturb your sleep, big children your life.’
– Yiddish proverb

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