Musau Ndunda – Fatherhood in two dimensions

Friendly, warm, sociable, humorous and definitely passionate are just a few words that describe Musau Ndunda, as he paces in his spacious office that befits the respected Kenyan leader. The founder and Secretary General of Kenya National Parents Association (KNAP) tells Linda Karimi and Rebecca Njoki of his family life and passion for education in Kenya.

He is a little late for our interview, but from his apologies, one understands that the circumstances must have been beyond him. And just before we walk into his office, his fatherly nature is evident when he asks a gentleman who has also been waiting for him whether he has had something to eat.

Shortly, our interview is underway, and as we listen to the hilarious former teacher who is full of conviction, we get to reconcile the Musau Ndunda we have watched on TV—the one who loses his composure when he utters the word ‘education’—and the one in front of us, not loud and reflective.

He is evidently a busy man, from the frequency in which responds to urgent emails, instructs the secretary on a number of issues before apologizing because our meeting has to be shorter than he would have loved it to be. Either way, his fatherhood story is not diluted. In 1977, Musau Ndunda met a lady called Dorcas in college. ‘Her innocence and quiet nature drew me to her.’ He recounts that her born-again Christian lifestyle and passionate singing ticked off the heebie-jeebies in him. Her virtuous character convinced him that he had met the mother of his children. Two years after that, they exchanged marital vows.

In 1980, Dorcas started behaving ‘funny’. With a quizzical look, just as if it was all happening again, he says, his beloved wife became sickly in the mornings and had an incessant craving for nyama choma. ‘l wondered what was going on,’ he goes on, with the puzzled look still on his face. ‘Even Dorcas was clueless about the strange occurrences,’ recollects the KNAP Secretary General, and chuckles at the detail that it was their parents who pointed out that they were expectant.

‘I knew I was a man now!’ he quips, laughing. Why the joy? He says accounts from their friends who had not succeeded in conceiving for many years had remained vivid in the Ndundas’ minds. Considering they were not any more special than them, the probability of them sharing a similar predicament rang loudly in their minds. Only to get the pregnancy news!

Coping with the changes

From then on, Ndunda was ‘not his own’. He had to make some adjustments so that Dorcas had an easy time in pregnancy This, however, was easy because during courtship, they had discussed a lot on their future eventualities—one of them being pregnancy. Counselors and family friends also came in handy with information on what to expect in pregnancy. Ndunda adjusted accordingly; from attending to her ‘out-of-this-world’ cravings while maintaining a balanced diet, to ensuring they were up to date with clinic. 😮 being her right-hand person when she was too big for comfort as she neared her EDD, and to pacing the hospital’s corridors during labour.

Delivery
Dorcas had no complications during pregnancy, something Ndunda attributes to her being young. However, she had a tough time during delivery, the doctors citing insufficient pelvic room for the baby. This had Ndunda prayerfully nervous for eight hours, as Dorcas laboured. ‘We named our first born Moses, following the difficult time of his entry into the world.’

Fatherhood

How did it feel for him to see his firstborn? ‘Oh my! It was exciting to get a son as a firstborn. I was so grateful to God and to my wife for him!’ he beams. The joy of being a father, according to Ndunda. is fulfilling a biblical order to reproduce and fill the earth. ‘Seeing your own biological child makes you stand out from just being a man, it is the best feeling in the world,’ he furthers.

Birth spacing

Their decision to space the children with three years in between was to avoid history repeating itself. Coming from a poor background, he remembers how tough it was for him and his seven siblings to make it through school. He recounts seeing many of his peers drop out of school to avail school fees for one of their siblings. Thus, the Ndundas’ birth spacing in order to give their children the best, in this regard, quality education, and more.

However, nature has a way of re organising well-laid plans. Eight years after their agreed lastborn—the fourth born, things took a different turn. ‘One morning, I started teasing my wife that she was now out of the childbearing league. She taunted me that she would stop the contraceptive she was using to prove me wrong. A few months later, the bizarre cravings kicked in. She was expectant again!* he says, very amused. The pregnancy was no different from the previous four, only this time we did not have so much anxiety and a lot of planning to do,’ he adds.

My passion

‘As I mentioned, many times, my father was unable to pay our school fees. However, the teachers of the schools we went to had a passion for education,’ Ndunda reminisces. He says that In his day, the teachers were more eager to see children in school than checking their fee balances. ‘Unfortunately, the present situation is different,’ he says, sadly. He says that the current scenario, which sees many poor students going without education, is what disappoints him. ‘If my teachers barred me from learning because I did not have the fees, I would not be what I am today,’ he offers, ‘I want the society to know that poverty should not be a hindrance to a child’s education. I am an advocate for that and will not stop until every child is given equal treatment In school despite his or her background.’

He says he was blessed with the opportunity to start planning for his children’s education when the firstborn was three years old. ‘I wanted them, besides having an education, to be Christians, acquire discipline and respect for others. I 3m happy to say the five of them have turned out responsible and are channeled into being people that make a difference in society.’

Ndunda does not want any parent or guardian to be left out of the bliss he feels when he looks at his children. It Is out of this dream that KNAP is founded on the belief that parents are a very important piece of the education system, and should therefore be given a voice to raise grievances and opinions. Lack of that, Ndunda says, leads to their exploitation and a poorer nation.

A word to younger parents

‘The challenge in pregnancy stems from a lot of demands from your wife which you must meet and cope with. If you don’t handle her well while she is expectant, she will pass it on to her unborn child,’ Ndunda cautions.

He goes on to say that bringing up a family is a serious mission and a young couple needs to glean a lot from the Been theres’. Otherwise, the terrible effects of careless errors are bound to haunt them.

He adds that the young parents should guide their children with the best interests of the children at the back of their minds. Then wait to see the children’s character blooming.

So far

Moses is a manager at an Insurance company. Isabella, the second born, is married and has blessed him with a grandchild. Martin, the third born has just finished college and Dona-Dennis is in form four this year. ‘He is the one, who takes after my fervour—speaking out for the underprivileged,’ Ndunda says with a smile and adds, Timothy, the last born is in class six.

He is a very informed child, who is highly interested in media-related topics.’

END:PG30/14-16

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