Intimacy after Childbirth – the feelings of men and women

Sex after delivery is usually the number one topic on every father’s list but last on those of most mothers. Many women use the baby sleeping in the marital bed as an excuse for not having sex but the truth is they just don’t feel ready to ride the high horse yet.

Medically, sex after delivery can safely resume after six weeks during which time the woman’s body will have healed, However, couples are advised to start as soon as they feel ready and this time can vary from woman to woman. Data from research shows that some women are not emotionally ready for sex even at six weeks, so the partner must be ready to understand. Some of the factors that cause sex to be different after child birth include:

Women’s bodies transform during childbirth. Their breasts become sore, the vagina stretched, and the labia extended. Low levels of hormones also make her dry.

Fear also plays a role. Women fear that the stitches on the vagina will break and that there might be pain as a result of soreness from childbirth and due to the healing of the reproductive organs. Some women also feel too stretched to give or have sexual pleasure and some men get turned off when they see their wives’ new shape.

Tips for successful sexual pleasure after childbirth

  • Talk about it openly.
  • Look at your sex life before you became parents- if it was not a lot of fun before, it definitely won’t improve after delivery.
  • Keep your priorities straight and decide what’s important together.
  • Lower your expectations.
  • Sex is intimate but not all intimacy is sex. Find other ways to be intimate if you’re not ready for sex.

Possible feelings about sex after childbirth
Woman

  • Exhausted.
  • Overwrought.
  • Guilty.
  • Ashamed.
  • Uninterested.
  • Self-conscious.
  • Wary.

Man

  • Frustrated.
  • Rejected.
  • Jealous.
  • Resentful.
  • Angry.
  • Confused.
  • Dumped.

Note:
Where the couple is unsure about how much time to wait until they can have sex, they should seek advice from their care provider.

END: PG 36/42

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