Battered but not shattered

Some stories make you cry, some make you want to change the human race, hate the opposite sex, stop believing in love and even doubt God’s existence. Then others make you second guess yourself and at the same time know that everything happens for a reason.

Alice shares her life story.

I have always wanted a sweet relaxed life, one which can allow me to relax and enjoy God’s creation. Sadly, this never happened. Nothing came easy for me. I had to work a little bit harder, dig a little bit deeper, cry a little bit louder to get my way. It was not easy. Soon I was lured into marriage. I married to escape my dreary life. I was tired of having to carry life’s burdens alone.

I was the only child in my family. My father was deaf and my mother was not easy to get along with. It was not hard for me to despise my life. David was the perfect prince charming to the naive girl that I was then. You see. I did not know the difference of one being in love and one wanting love.

David was good in the first year that we were married. We had the perfect marriage and life could not get any better. Then one day. everything changed. Once I was comfortable in my small cocoon, everything just crashed. David started doing drugs or at least I thought he started at that time. I found some marijuana in his coat while taking it to the cleaners. He denied it and told me that I was seeing things and I was trying to destroy our marriage. I let It pass. The next time this happened, he was so high he rammed into the gate while driving and actually got hurt. I was so scared. I confessed for sins I had not yet committed. David was discharged after three days. That is when he confessed to me that he had been doing drugs way before he had met me and that he could not bring himself to stop. I suggested rehabilitation but he told me that the day he went in was the day I would stop being his wife.

Then the beatings started. They were so bad I thought of pulling my skin off just to stop the pain. My friends would ask what was wrong and my replies were cliche. ‘I slipped down the stairs. I rammed into the wall while going to the bathroom at night.’ And on and on it went. I was never short of lies. One day I was hurt so badly I had to tell someone. I was admitted in hospital for a week: I knew the “slipping down the stairs” story was not credible. I told David’s mother. She went over the roof. David was taken to a rehabilitation centre immediately and sadly he kept his word. He told me he was filing for a divorce.

My husband escaped the rehab after one month and came after me. He hit me so hard I thought my ribs would crack to pieces. I was found unconscious. David was found in the bedroom, dead, he had overdosed on mandrax and morphin. I was so devastated, my life was over. I had lost David and here I was, half dead. I could not move my legs, my hands felt like they were made of cement, and I was half blind.

I found out a week later that I had lost my baby. I did not even know that I was pregnant. That was the last blow. I just slipped away. I could not speak, eat or walk for days. I was numb and everyone thought I would die. I finally got the will power to slip back in to the world after the pain became bearable. But the effects of my abuse can still be felt today. My left arm is weaker than the right one and I have poor eye sight.

I am trying to start anew because all I had two years ago is gone. I have no regrets at all regarding having met David for it is better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all. I am still hopeful that my life is going to be bright. Life is hard but I am going to face it with a strong mind and a willing body. Hopefully, my life will be perfect for I have not ceased dreaming.

END: PG25/23-24