Raising my son in a foreign country

Melissa Petersen has had to adjust and make changes to raise her Christian, her baby boy; she lives in Denmark with her husband. She shares her experience with our staff writer.

Christian is born
My due date was late by one week. I checked into the hospital. and was informed that my baby’s heartbeat was going down and the doctors could not wait till I was fully dilated; I delivered at 8cm dilation. After delivery, I stayed with Christian at the hospital for a week as I learnt the basics of child rearing.

Home at last
I could hardly believe that I was with my baby at home, finally. I loved raising him up, I still enjoy it. Even better, my husband had a six week leave from work and he was of great assistance. Breastfeeding was easy though it at first felt ticklish. I was taught how to latch him on the breast properly. When my nipples cracked and were sore, I requested for a shield so as to prevent the baby from suckling directly on them until I healed.

Sleeping arrangements
We differed with hubby on the sleeping arrangements for our baby. He wanted the baby to sleep on his cot and I could hardly imagine being separated from him, either during the day or at night. I also had the fear of cot death, and so I kept him close. Instead, I made arrangements for the three of us to have separate covers so that the heat from both of us would not suffocate him. Now I understand my husband’s reasoning because when I try to put him to sleep on his bed he yells.

The warm smile
My baby started smiling when he was two weeks old. I thought he was sick because the doctor had said that would happen at at least he was six weeks old. So I took him to the doctor and reported the ‘condition’. He said it was impossible for a baby to smile at such an early age. I had him sit and wait for the baby to smile so that he could certify that Christian was perfectly healthy. In a few moments, the smile broke out and the doctor had to concur that indeed it was normal. From then onwards, I relaxed and got wowed every time my son smiled.

Christian is an easy baby who has achieved milestones without fuss or drama. For instance, when he was learning to crawl I put him on a mat as was the routine, and I sat on my computer. A few moments later I heard him tap my feet and I jumped up in surprise. He did repeat performances until he got himself up one day and started walking while aided. Now he is learning to walk unaided. He is a good feeder and takes food with so much gusto that I fear he will choke. I am careful while feeding him.

How they do it in Denmark
Being a mother means everything. The small gestures a baby displays; the first little smile, the pinch and the bite he gives when he is breastfeeding. Knowing that I have someone to take care of and someone who trusts me so completely fills me up. In Denmark, new mothers from the same location form a group where they meet and share ideas, talk about their babies and learn from each other. Members have the freedom to choose when and where to meet. Another advantage is having easy access to medical expertise. Apart from the routine immunisation done in hospital. there is a nurse assigned to go round homes, monitoring the family’s progress and especially the baby’s health. She checks how the parents are relating to the baby and if there is any abnormality in the baby’s health. Being in a cross- cultural marriage, I am trying as much as I can to teach my baby to speak the basic languages-both my husband’s and mine. I know he will learn it with time.

Challenges in a foreign country
The culture of a new country can be difficult to understand. When I started weaning Christian I had no idea where to get food for him. I would call my mother and she would tell me to give him porridge yet I would not find the ingredients for the kind of porridge I had in mind. I would dress my baby warmly as is the norm and then keep him indoors, something that is frowned upon in Denmark. I was advised to take him out and let him sleep outside during the day in his pram, and also to dress him lightly. This felt uncomfortable at first, but I got accustomed to it.

Strong qualities
Christian is very determined. If he wants something he does not give up and he does not forget until he gets the exact item he was reaching out for. He is also outgoing and friendly. I hope he will be a gentleman because the world is devoid of such.

END: BL 26 / 13

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