Putting time in your baby’s account

Why is it mandatory?

As a single, working mother. Angela* would leave the house before daylight to beat the traffic and return just after dark. She spent two hours in traffic and ten hours at the work place just so to remain the effective provider of the home. Time is money—you know. She had Saturday afternoon to shop and run errands. Sunday would see her bundling her household (baby and house-help) to church and the afternoon was for catching the snooze to re-energize her for the dutiful week ahead.

It was not long before she noted that her 11-month-old baby cried to be with the house-help, crawling after her at any given opportunity.

Part of her was impressed. But the bigger part was full of concern and, sure enough, some envy—especially when the baby did not flap her hands in excitement the few days she managed to get home early. She actually considered firing her house-help. On second thought, she knew she had to address the root-cause – Time.

Talking to Pregnant, Angela, now working closer to home, says that the strained relationship with her daughter is almost a thing of the past. I only wish I had worked harder to remain closer to her all the while. I realise spending adequate time with my baby is the greatest gift I can give to my baby and myself.

The quest to fend for our families can easily be blamed for staying away from our babies. The sad thing is that fending at the expense of quality time with our babies may serve as an undoing in the long run. There are a lot of benefits when a parent dedicates time to their baby. It not only strengthens the family bond but also ensures that a child grows up feeling loved and cared for, which in turn develops her or him into an all-round strong person.

Forming an attachment with your child is important to the psychological health of the baby. It is also one of the deepest and most unique bonds a mother can form with another individual. The bonding relies on daily care giving and communicating with the baby.

It should be both fun and fulfilling. A child’s basic learning usually takes place in the informal situations that occur daily in the life of the child. They could include the times when the family is doing ordinary things together such as cooking, playing, eating and so on.

TALK WITH HIM
A baby may not get a word of what you are saying but she understands that you care for her enough to be saying whatever you are saying. Use non-verbal communication and get to see how the baby responds. Through observation and interaction with parents, children learn how to communicate and in turn also learn to express their needs. They learn to listen and to understand nonverbal clues too.-

BUILD HIS SELF ESTEEM
A baby who feels loved begins developing a strong personality from a young age. Words of encouragement and love help provide children with the courage to try new things without the fear that they may not be in a position to do them. When you tell your baby the value you feel for her. it helps in developing positive self esteem.

DADS TOO
Fathers sometimes feel distanced from some of the physical bonds like breastfeeding and pregnancy. This should not be reason for worry because sharing the joys of pregnancy and being present at the time of delivery goes a long way in forming emotional bonds in the family. As a father, you should learn how to change diapers, give baths, feed the baby, hold, rock, talk to the newborn right from birth, hence ensuring that you are always a part of their daily life.

*Not real name.

Very Important
1. Touch. Skin-to-skin contact is important, as your baby will become familiar, not only with your touch, but with your smell as ‘well. Hold your newborn up against your skin, and cradle them in your lap as you stroke them with different patterns.

2.  Your baby communicates through eye contact . Provide your baby with this kind of attention to say you love them.

3  Babies can follow objects with their eyes. Playing with moving objects is one way to spend quality time.

4.  Babies love to hear and imitate human voices in their early efforts to communicate. Reading, talking and singing to your baby will help familiarize them with your voice and form an attachment. Cooing and communicating with facial expressions will also be recognized by your baby, who will most likely make attempts to imitate these signs

5. Newborns will recognize your heartbeat. Hold your baby close to your chest.

6. Learn ways of how and when to respond to your baby’s crying, which will help your baby feel secure thus forming a trusting relationship.

Money is very important. However, after being part and parcel of the above, you will realize that time is surely more important than money. And that time well spent can be.

END:BL15/64-65

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