Now that I am home with, a baby-what next?

Irene Werehire details the mixed feelings of a new mum during the first several weeks after delivery.

Time flies. Last year at a time like this, I was four weeks pregnant and my husband (then my fiance) and I, were busy planning what next.

Today is 8th January and my baby is exactly four months I can’t help but go down memory lane.

It’s 11th September. The first day on my own with my little girl Nduta Mwangi. My husband has gone to work. Yesterday was a better day. It was Sunday and he dotted over us, we felt secure. Today he’s gone and I truly don’t know what to do or what to expect. I have heard many stories of how babies cry, how they choke as they suckle, cot deaths, you name it. I am truly afraid.

It’s around eight in the morning and there is a knock at the door. I think, ’I don’t have enough energy to even open it’. As I struggle to wake up, here she is. Right inside my bedroom!. Her first day in here, it’s my mother-in-law. It feels strange to have her in my bedroom.

She has three flasks—tea, milk and porridge
‘You must eat well to regain your energy,’ she says firmly. That sounds like a command to me. She picks our baby’s dirty clothes to launder and leaves with a smile, proud that a baby named after her has been brought into the world.

I look at all the flasks and wonder what to start with. She brought only one cup. So I can only take one of the three drinks at a time. It’s ten o’clock and here she is again, this time to check whether I have consumed the breakfast she brought. Shortly, it’s lunch hour and she places so much food on my table, I could eat it for both lunch and dinner.

All this time I don’t get a chance to get bored because Nduta is keeping me busy. She is a little angel. She sleeps most of the time and I can’t help wondering where she has been all along. Evening comes and my husband is home. Today he is earlier than usual. Though we had been communicating on phone all day long, it feels like a month since I last saw him. We share how our day has been. He affectionately shares his time between the baby and I, and soon it is bedtime- again.

The routine continues and a month is gone. My mum-in-law has to go back to work. Wonderful love. I must say, she took her annual leave just to be with me!

I still remember the day she went back to work and left us alone. A sense of insecurity crept in. I didn’t know how secure I felt when she was around, until she went back to work. I kept asking myself, suppose something that I can’t handle happens to Nduta?

What if the baby chokes? What if the baby falls ill? What if…? On many occasions I had been left with my sister’s babies as she and her husband went to work, but never had I felt like this with a baby. It was the longest day since my baby had came into the world.

My mum-in-law came in at around three and I relaxed immediately I knew she was around—and slept!

Our house was a beehive of activity throughout the day, during the first few weeks. Being the last born in a family of ten children and my husband being the only son in a family of four, accounted for the numerous visitors we had each day. Days moved fast without much notice. We had visitors every weekend. Some even came in after work to marvel with us, at the gift of a baby.

Two months later the euphoria reduced. Our relatives’ excitement over the new baby subsided, and life went back to normal. It was now my husband, my baby, my mum-in-law and I.

Nduta wakes up early as if to have a word with her dad, before he goes to work. They bond for a while as I prepare breakfast. We have the morning meal together before he goes to work. A diaper change, and later we go back to sleep.

Fatigue is easing and I can’t sleep for long anymore. I am awake by nine in the morning and because I have regained some energy. I can now do a few chores in the house.

It is 8th December —it’s a wake-up call every time the baby is a month older—and I realise that Nduta is now three months old. I think, ’How time flies! I’ve got to get out of this house!’ I resigned from work when I was 20 weeks pregnant.

Suddenly I realise how much weight I have gained. Later in the evening, I comment about it to my husband. The eyes he throws my way tell me that he had seen it all along, and was simply being polite by not commenting. He encourages me and tells me as long as I’m breastfeeding weight gain is allowed. I guess that is a polite way of giving me some grace period!

As it’s time to get out of the house, I have started sending word to my friends and relatives, that I am looking for a job. I can’t believe some of the advice I am hearing: one of my elder sisters tells me without mincing words. ‘Is it time to look for a job or time to start thinking of getting another baby?’

I do not believe what I’m hearing so I asked her to explain. She has three children: one is getting married this year, the second is in form two and the last born in class one. ‘Do you think they have enjoyed each other’s company?’ She asks. Each is like a parent to the other and not a sibling. Well, it seems to be a consensus among my sisters (I have six!). Just last week another older sister came to visit us, and together with my mother-in-law were busy discussing how I should get another baby soon.

Nduta is exactly four months old as I speak today, and baby-sitting is becoming addictive. I enjoy her company. What do I do next? I have been toying with the idea of postponing the job hunting and following my relatives’ advice. (Shhh… Don’t let my husband hear, lest he takes their side!).

Now that I am at home with my baby, I am totally mixed up and I don’t know what next. Is there anyone out there who can offer some help…… something different from my relatives?

END: BL 05/60-61